Showing posts with label Homeschooling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Homeschooling. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

A Glimpse of Literature

I have a deep and abiding love for words. I know some would say this is pretty evident in the sheer volume that proceed from my mouth;) I won't deny that I have the gift of gab but that is not what I'm speaking of right now. I love language, I love the rhythm and meter of a well constructed sentence, I love that the entire emotional experience of a piece can be changed by altering just one single word. I have been known to have goosebumps and get giddy simply over the way a sentence reads. This may make me a bit eccentric....maybe even crazy to some. However, I still love the English language; thus I love literature. I don't mean I have a passing fancy for, or a slight crush on, or a brief love affair with; no I am passionate about the reading all kinds of literature, especially the classics.
My love affair began as a child. We did not have a television until I was 14 years old, so my major form of entertainment was reading. I was so different than other kids my age, the proverbial square peg that could not be jammed into a round hole. My books were not just my entertainment, they were my escape. In them I found the friends I lacked at school, in them I was beautiful and brave, in them I could count on happily ever after or at the very least a hauntingly beautiful tragic end.
It has been very important to me that I pass on my love of literature to my boys. Not just a love of reading (which is definitely a first step) but an understanding and appreciation for classic literature (even if we can't get to the big L love I have for it). My job has been infinitely complicated by two things. 1) I have all BOYS. It's not that boys can't love literature but as a whole they would much rather blow something up in a video game or toss a ball around than sit still and read some "Sappy books". 2) 4 of my BOYS are on the autistic spectrum. Autism is a communications disorder. When my boys read anything they go straight for a literal interpretation. The moon being a ghostly galleon, tossed upon cloudy seas (we'll get back to this in a minute) just about blows their brain gaskets.
Honestly, my boys can't escape the classics. I often just go around quoting some tidbit, not because I'm all that smart but because I just love the way the words of Shakespeare or Keats or Longfellow sound as they trip lightly off the tongue. However, since I have begun homeschooling I have made it a point to quote a little more often. My boys never know when I'll just break into verse. I keep it funny and add all kinds of crazy dramatization but none the less they are being exposed to the classics.
Today my son, Alex, was being a bit overly dramatic about the mention of cleaning. I just started quoting Hamlet's soliloquy to him off the cuff, adding his name in silly spots to grab his attention. After my impromptu performance Alex groaned and said "Mom, stop using Shakespeare against me!!" First, I was delighted that he recognized the piece as Shakespeare (granted it is one of the best known pieces of Hamlet but still I was pleased) but I also never want them to associate literature to something that is forced. I decided that right then and there was a great time for a sneaky literature lesson. After a few minutes, giving them time to move past Shakespeare, I began to recite Alfred Noyes The Highwayman in my most dramatic fashion (Anne Shirley would have been proud......you know Anne from Anne of Green Gables:) At first, they were all busily doing their own thing but three lines in I had a captive audience. They sat and listened to the whole piece, even Benny (my youngest who doesn't sit through anything more than 3.5 seconds long;).
I was bombarded by questions at the end "Why did he call the moon a ghostly galleon when ,everyone knows, the moon is made of rock and orbits the earth and in no way resembles a galleon?" "BTW what is a galleon?" "Why did the highwayman go back and die?" This question Jamie answered with his own commentary "It was to teach you a lesson Benny." Benny asked "What lesson" Jamie shrugs his shoulders " don't know". Alex pipes in "Obviously he was trying to teach you that men do CRAZY things for love!" Thus we had a full fifteen minutes of discussion on Alfred Noyes' poem. I don't think I could have been half as happy if I were dissecting it with experts and peers in a college literature class. My heart was nearly bursting with excitement, so much so I came and immediately penned this blog. After some pretty discouraging weeks in homeschooling and autism departments, it was fabulous to see a glimpse of my hard work paying off. It is these little glimpses that keep me going when at times I feel like giving up and finding a different school option. The road map of our lives is never unfolded all at once. All one can do is walk the path in front of them and wait to catch a glimpse of what is to come. Today's slight glimpse gave me hope. In leaving I give Alfred Noyes classic The Highway Man (it's one of my favorites). Lots of love friends-Kristine


The Highwayman

PART ONE

I

THE wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees,
The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
The road was a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
And the highwayman came riding—
Riding—riding—
The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn-door.

II

He'd a French cocked-hat on his forehead, a bunch of lace at his chin,
A coat of the claret velvet, and breeches of brown doe-skin;
They fitted with never a wrinkle: his boots were up to the thigh!
And he rode with a jewelled twinkle,
His pistol butts a-twinkle,
His rapier hilt a-twinkle, under the jewelled sky.

III

Over the cobbles he clattered and clashed in the dark inn-yard,
And he tapped with his whip on the shutters, but all was locked and barred;
He whistled a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
But the landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Bess, the landlord's daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

IV

And dark in the dark old inn-yard a stable-wicket creaked
Where Tim the ostler listened; his face was white and peaked;
His eyes were hollows of madness, his hair like mouldy hay,
But he loved the landlord's daughter,
The landlord's red-lipped daughter,
Dumb as a dog he listened, and he heard the robber say—

V

"One kiss, my bonny sweetheart, I'm after a prize to-night,
But I shall be back with the yellow gold before the morning light;
Yet, if they press me sharply, and harry me through the day,
Then look for me by moonlight,
Watch for me by moonlight,
I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way."

VI

He rose upright in the stirrups; he scarce could reach her hand,
But she loosened her hair i' the casement! His face burnt like a brand
As the black cascade of perfume came tumbling over his breast;
And he kissed its waves in the moonlight,
(Oh, sweet, black waves in the moonlight!)
Then he tugged at his rein in the moonliglt, and galloped away to the West.



PART TWO

I

He did not come in the dawning; he did not come at noon;
And out o' the tawny sunset, before the rise o' the moon,
When the road was a gypsy's ribbon, looping the purple moor,
A red-coat troop came marching—
Marching—marching—
King George's men came matching, up to the old inn-door.

II

They said no word to the landlord, they drank his ale instead,
But they gagged his daughter and bound her to the foot of her narrow bed;
Two of them knelt at her casement, with muskets at their side!
There was death at every window;
And hell at one dark window;
For Bess could see, through her casement, the road that he would ride.

III

They had tied her up to attention, with many a sniggering jest;
They had bound a musket beside her, with the barrel beneath her breast!
"Now, keep good watch!" and they kissed her.
She heard the dead man say—
Look for me by moonlight;
Watch for me by moonlight;
I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way!

IV

She twisted her hands behind her; but all the knots held good!
She writhed her hands till her fingers were wet with sweat or blood!
They stretched and strained in the darkness, and the hours crawled by like years,
Till, now, on the stroke of midnight,
Cold, on the stroke of midnight,
The tip of one finger touched it! The trigger at least was hers!

V

The tip of one finger touched it; she strove no more for the rest!
Up, she stood up to attention, with the barrel beneath her breast,
She would not risk their hearing; she would not strive again;
For the road lay bare in the moonlight;
Blank and bare in the moonlight;
And the blood of her veins in the moonlight throbbed to her love's refrain .

VI

Tlot-tlot; tlot-tlot! Had they heard it? The horse-hoofs ringing clear;
Tlot-tlot, tlot-tlot, in the distance? Were they deaf that they did not hear?
Down the ribbon of moonlight, over the brow of the hill,
The highwayman came riding,
Riding, riding!
The red-coats looked to their priming! She stood up, straight and still!

VII

Tlot-tlot, in the frosty silence! Tlot-tlot, in the echoing night!
Nearer he came and nearer! Her face was like a light!
Her eyes grew wide for a moment; she drew one last deep breath,
Then her finger moved in the moonlight,
Her musket shattered the moonlight,
Shattered her breast in the moonlight and warned him—with her death.

VIII

He turned; he spurred to the West; he did not know who stood
Bowed, with her head o'er the musket, drenched with her own red blood!
Not till the dawn he heard it, his face grew grey to hear
How Bess, the landlord's daughter,
The landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Had watched for her love in the moonlight, and died in the darkness there.

IX

Back, he spurred like a madman, shrieking a curse to the sky,
With the white road smoking behind him and his rapier brandished high!
Blood-red were his spurs i' the golden noon; wine-red was his velvet coat,
When they shot him down on the highway,
Down like a dog on the highway,
And he lay in his blood on the highway, with the bunch of lace at his throat.

* * * * * *

X

And still of a winter's night, they say, when the wind is in the trees,
When the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
When the road is a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
A highwayman comes riding—
Riding—riding—
A highwayman comes riding, up to the old inn-door.

XI

Over the cobbles he clatters and clangs in the dark inn-yard;
He taps with his whip on the shutters, but all is locked and barred;
He whistles a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
But the landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Bess, the landlord's daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

A Glimpse of Margin


Unlike many in my family, I am not a great poker player.  I had moved out of the house before the big poker tournaments began.  However, one thing is consistent when I play.  I am an all or nothing kind of player.  I will either fold at the beginning or I almost always I am going to play the hand out.  This works well for me sometimes.  When the cards are running my way or the other players are playing as poorly as me this strategy can indeed be quite effective.    But if one little thing goes wrong….if the cards aren’t so favorable or a new player joins the game: I am sunk.  For this reason I don’t play poker;) However I live my life the same way I play poker.   I am either all in or I’m not in at all.    This style of life pursuits has its advantages.  If I commit to you that I am going to do something, you can bet your bottom dollar I will do everything in my power to do it.  If I am your friend, you know I will be loyal to you through thick and thin.  If I believe in something fervently, then watch out world! I’m coming for you!   In fact once I get going on something I leave myself no margin, whether it’s money, time or energy if I’m all in then I am ALL in.    It is this that God has been working on in me this week.


This week was a rough week.  We started the school week WAY behind in our lessons, hubby worked late almost every night, one of my little guys was sicker than sick for two full days and physically I was at one of the lowest points I have been at in a long time.  In fact I spent an entire day unable to get off the sofa.  My body hurt everywhere and I was completely exhausted, not tired but so exhausted that just standing up for a few minutes meant I had to sleep for at least an hour.  I don’t often talk about these times because quite honestly I find them annoying and embarrassing.  I hate having weaknesses and I hate even more allowing others to see them.  My house was/ is trashed (we’re slowly getting it back together) and I was at my wits end.

Thursday came around and started out well compared to the rest of the week.  I was feeling better so I set to work.  I cleaned, made challah for sukkot (Feast of Tabernacles), taught the kids school (caught up on a lot), made a special dinner for Sukkot , and was getting ready for our home group when I just completely crashed.  My husband looked at me and asked what was wrong.  I burst into tears and told him to take the kids out of the house for a drive because I NEEDED a few moments to myself.  I just sat in a quiet, empty house and cried.  I was used up, done; I had nothing left to give.  I took a long, hot shower and cried some more.  I turned on an old movie on TCM and cried again (yeah I know weakness again…I hate that).  My hubby got home; we put the boys to bed and watched some TV.  He looked over at me and said “You know honey you never leave yourself any margin in any area of your life.  You jump in with both feet and run until there is nothing left to give.”  Right then in there I felt that convicting tug of the Holy Spirit. 

Friday was another crazy busy day.  I had my Rheumatologist appointment in Dallas.   Dallas is really not very far from our house (around 40 miles or so) but the drive can be long simply because of traffic.  Once the doctor saw me he placed me on more medications, medications I have been fighting going on simply because I hate weakness (I know a theme right?).  He looked at me and said without an inflection of any kind in his voice “You are going to go on this medication because you need to give yourself a break.  You need to sleep and there is no reason for you to be in this kind of pain.”  Again I felt the Holy Spirit gently speaking to my heart, give yourself a break, and leave yourself some margin in your life.

On the way home from the doctors a car lost control and nearly hit me.  He spun across four lanes of traffic, coming so close to me that if my window was down I could have reached out and touched him.  I always leave a lot of room between me and the other vehicles on the road.  You drive 95 or 495 enough times around northern VA or DC you figure this out pretty quickly.  Again I felt that still small voice:  When you leave margin you can better deal with the crises that arise.

So this weekend I gave myself permission to leave margin.  My plan had been to rush around cleaning like a mad woman, catch up on more school work and have a generally stressful weekend.  Instead I enjoyed a wonderful Saturday with my boys.  They got haircuts, we ate out and when we were home we chilled out.  Today I had wonderful morning at church, a leisurely lunch with my family and friends and then went to get my hair styled.   I gave myself margin, I started my medicines and gave my body a break and I am in a much better place as I start this school week.

I don’t know if any of you, my friends, are living a life without margin.  I don’t know if you cram your page of life so full of stuff that you’re writing up the sides (Like me).  If you are living full speed ahead I would encourage you to take a moment to breathe, to reassess where you can give yourself a break, to leave a little margin.  I know I will need to be reminded of this many times in the future.  We can walk this road together.  Lots of love-Kristine

Monday, August 1, 2011

The First Steps in a Journey

It is said that a journey of a thousand steps begins with the very first step.   That being said, our journey has begun.   “What journey?”  You may ask.  Our homeschooling journey!!!  Yes I know I am not your typical homeschooling momma.  Yes I know I said I would sooner walk over the hot coals of hell barefoot than homeschool our boys.  Yes I know I am the least organized person I know.  Yes I know that I said if I ever even thought about homeschooling my boys you should call the men with the white suits.  Well today I publicly eat  all those words, every one of them……well I may still be the least organized person I know but other than that I eat my words;-)
As some of you know, I was homeschooled for my high school years.  It was not a great experience for me.  I had been super active in school before that: chorus, drama,  band, debate team, tutoring, honors classes, etc.  I loved school. I thrived on the competition that school provided me.  Being pulled out of that environment and placed in a homeschooling one was not the right choice for me.  The experience honestly tainted my view of the entire concept.  For the past 20 some odd years (no I will not get more specific than that….a girl has to have some vanity ;) I have been adamant that my kids would stay in school no matter what.  I didn’t care how many hoops I had to jump through or how many ways I had to bend my kids would stay in school.  Now this works great if your kids fall into the NT (neuro- typical) group of kids.  It even worked great for my spectrum kids…..up until I moved to small town TX.   Since moving here nearly 4 years ago it has been a very different story.  Don’t get me wrong I love our town!!!  As a matter of fact, it nearly broke my heart when we considered moving to a different school district.  But four years of continuous battle to get my kids the accommodations they needed in the classroom had taken its toll.  What started out as friendly discussion had ended in a very bloody battle.  Friendships were lost, relationships damaged, careers jeopardized, and some of my boys’ education were being affected by the fall out.  I wish this was even a slight exaggeration but it’s not.    My husband and I knew sending some of our boys back was just not an option.  Private schooling is expensive when you have the number of kids we do.  Also private schools do not fall under the same federal guidelines that public schools do.  They are not obliged to follow the IDEA or many of the other laws which govern the public system.   That is not to say that there are not great private schools out there for special needs children but we were not finding any that were within our budget constraints. 
Homeschooling I had dismissed out of hand.  First of all I am not a very organized soul.  In fact I tend to fight whatever organizational binds that are placed upon me. Blame this on my artistic nature, or ADD, or rebellion….I don’t care which it is.  The fact remains I refuse to buy the same scented laundry soap twice in a row.  I get bored with the first scent before it is even done.  Finding things in my cabinets and closets is a constant adventure for my husband.  I have more than once heard “Kristine would it really kill you to put the salt in the same place twice in a row?”  Yes organization is not my cup of tea.  I know this is a huge handicap when considering homeschooling.  I understand myself enough to know that no matter how good my intentions if the system was dependent on me to be organized we were doomed before we even started.
Another strike against homeschooling was the very different needs of each my boys.  I understand all kids are different but with four of mine on the autistic spectrum I was unsure of my ability to meet each of their needs myself when a team of professionals was unable to do it in some instances. All of this added to my already prejudicial view of the entire experience pretty much ruled homeschooling out completely for our family.
That only left moving to another district.  But this again was not a good solution.  We are established in our town.  We have friends and more importantly are boys have friends.  Change is not easy on any child but my spectrum guys have a really hard time establishing relationships.  Paul is entering middle school.  I just did not know how well he would be able to reconnect at this stage in the game.
Then one day a good friend of mine shared a homeschooling solution that she thought may work for us.  It is an option that is available through the state of TX.  My boys have access to online classes, one on one teacher interaction, SPED specialist, and gifted programs.  Everything!!  It is perfect for us.  It has its own structure therefore it is not dependent on only me.  It gives me the freedom to work with my boys but the support that I need.  It is a good compromise. 
This year I am only doing three of the boys.  The program starts in 3rd grade.  My youngest is only in 1st therefore he is not eligible.  My other son is going into 3rd.  However, he has a very good, established relationship with his SPED teacher.  He is further on the spectrum than my other guys.  I was not comfortable doing him the first year.  Let me work out the kinks and maybe we’ll shoot for next year.
So there it is, my big news.  I am excited about this new direction.  I know in my gut it is the right one.  Any and all prayers are definitely welcomed.  If the past is any indicator, God will use this experience to grow me even more than my boys.  Remember to leave your comments on this blog to be entered into the giveaway.  I am posting a picture of the gift basket, sans the chocolate.  That I’ll wait to buy closer to the giveaway.  Lots of love to each of you, my friends.-Kristine

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