Tuesday, September 11, 2012

A Glimpse of the Surreal

The Road Not Taken
by: Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.  

There are times in life that can only be described as surreal.  This past month has been one of those times in Skiffland.  We went ,in a few days time, from having our feet firmly planted on one path  to, in the blink of an eye, having that path completely disappear before us.  Now, we have to figure out where God is leading us as a family.  To be clear, nothing horrible or terrible is going on.  We are just at a bit of a stop gap right now.  Between a personal situation that affected our family's general direction and a health condition that has flared for my husband, we are praying that God will lead us to the new path he has for us.  Personally, this has been a difficult month.  I don't really like change to begin with, and I particularly don't like change when it comes with no warning and is forced upon me.  I need a little time to get used to the idea, dip my toes in ,if you will, before I am completely submerged.  However, it is in these times that I am reminded of God's presence all the more.  I know that even when things seem discombobulated and out of control to me, God has it all in complete control.  I see more clearly with each passing day the way God uses the unforeseen to draw us closer to him and closer together as a family.  
 God has used the situations of the past month to deal with some deep hurts from my past that I thought were long gone, some of which I had never even admitted to.  To be completely honest, I am not comfortable yet with these things.  I feel raw and exposed.  Part of me would much rather go back to the time where I covered up the pain of abuse with walls of denial and toughness.  But I know that in letting God expose the painful things in my heart, I am allowing Him to heal them and to use them to minister to others who have been through similar situations.  The healing process is painful but it is also freeing.
 My respect for my husband has grown so much deeper this past month.  I have seen him stand up for truth and lead when it would have been easier and more convenient to ignore the issues at hand.  I have seen him push himself physically to provide for our family when there are days that just getting his legs under him is a great effort.  I am blessed to have a man of God who takes both his spiritual and physical responsibilities to his family seriously.
Yes, God uses all things for His glory, even the tough things.  I do not know what exactly He is doing through all this and I certainly don't know exactly where He is leading us but I do know whatever and wherever that is I am excited to see it.  

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