Sunday, May 13, 2012

A Glimpse of Suzanne

Happy Mother's Day to all you, my precious friends.  Today is a heavy Mother's Day for me.  Yesterday my good friend, neighbor and fellow spectrum momma shuffled off this mortal coil and left a hole in so many of our hearts.  She leaves behind a devoted husband and two beautiful children.  On this day where we all honor the mothers in our lives, I wanted to pay a special tribute to a mother who loved her children passionately, who fought desperately for them and whose absence today is felt so very much.
I remember very clearly the day Susie and I first met.  My phone was ringing and I did not recognize the number.  Normally, I just let those calls go straight to voice mail but something told me to answer this all.  I answered and a woman, whom I had never met, told me she had been given my number because her son had recently been diagnosed with gifted Aspergers.  She called a complete stranger and an hour and a half later when we hung up we were good friends. We had so many things in common, so many of the same life challenges.  We had laughed and cried and shared more of our lives in an hour and a half than many people share after years.  My son Paul and her son became fast friends at school and it turned out we were neighbors, living only a block or so from each other.  I will miss her phone calls and unexpected visits.  I will miss seeing her walk around the neighborhood, lost in thought and yet still on a mission.  I will miss her in my life.
Last night I told Paul about Susie's passing.  He and I stayed up late talking about her and the way she affected his life.  We grieved together for our loss and for the much greater loss to her family.  Paul asked me quite sincerely "Mom, when can I go to my friend and be a good friend to him?  When can I tell him I feel sympathy for him?  I can't stop crying, so I know my friend is crying a lot more than me because this is his mom."  At that moment, I saw a glimpse of the man growing inside of my boy. I'm  really proud of him.  
We talked about the unanswerable questions of life:  Why? How can this happen?   We took comfort in the things we do know.  Paul's literal, Aspie mind was very comforted by Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;s3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;s6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;s7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

He said to me "Mom, I don't understand why now was the time.  I don't think it is fair and I am feeling angry but I know that God said it was time.  Maybe he just really wanted her with him."  I think my 11 year old child said it better than I ever could so I will close with that.  All my love Susie, you are so missed.  All my love Jeff and kids, our hearts break with you and for you.  We are here.  All my love friends, may we never take each other for granted.- Kristine

1 comment:

Sally Phillips said...

So sorry for your loss. Suzie's family has my prayers. You are a very beautiful person, Kristine. Your writing is exceptional

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