Windshield wipers beat a sharp staccato as she drove through the night. The rain, which had begun as a soft drizzle, was now a torrential downpour. The defroster had stopped working 30 miles back and she was now forced to lean out the rolled down window, every few minutes to see the road ahead. Another 50 miles and she would find a rest stop and stop for the night. This was a dangerous choice for a woman traveling alone but she really had no choice. She had spent a good portion of her cash on the clunker she currently drove. Besides, the truck stop could hold no monster more terrifying than the one she currently ran from. She laughed at the irony her life had become. She, who was once a power player,strong and independent, was now weak, scared and disillusioned. A mere whisper of the woman she once was. She shivered at the mixture of cold and memories threatening rise again to the surface of her consciousness. She reached into the console and ran her fingers over the knife she had secreted there. She was not defenseless, she reminded herself. Not now at least......never again. She pushed the memories down, swallowed the lump of fear in her throat and forced her hand to release the knife.
Her eyes were growing heavy from lack of sleep. She had not slept the past 48 hours, determined to put as much distance as possible between herself and the monster of her nightmares. She had driven across much of the country. It was funny, here she was checking off one of her bucket list items and she could not even appreciate it. Actually could a nameless woman even have a bucket list or dreams or were all her hopes, dreams and ambitions gone along with her name. Another irony of life. She who had once been so proud of her name, her lineage and now it was gone, forever gone.
Elizabeth, Lisa, Sue, Anne, Catherine, Becky, Marianne, Emily, Hannah....she said each name aloud, trying to settle on one that felt right. It had to be simple, something that she would remember to respond to if it were called out. Erin, Melissa, Rachel, Kate.....Kate.....Kate. Yes Kate was simple and easy. Something she could remember. She cleaned her rear view mirror with her sleeve and tried to glimpse herself in the smeared darkness. Could she pass for a Kate? Nope she couldn't tell right now. She would have to wait until morning to decide.
Finally, she caught sight of the rest stop ahead. Bone weary she pulled into a brightly lit spot. She shoved her drenched hair into a ball cap, she would have to cut it soon. The one vanity of her former life she had yet to give up. She put the sun reflector in the windshield and hung towels on her side windows to shield herself from the view of curious onlookers. She dared not change out of her sodden clothes completely but she had to put on a dry sweatshirt at least. She was suddenly very glad she had worn a button down blouse. She could put on the sweatshirt and take off the blouse without being disrobed. Somewhat dry she reached into the back seat for a blanket and a granola bar. She hadn't eaten anything since lunch and she was suddenly famished and very thirsty. She grabbed a bottle of water while she rummaged around. Suddenly she began to hyperventilate, she felt trapped and claustrophobic. She tore down the towels and the sun reflector frantically and took a long look around, looking hard into the darkness to see if any shadow was out of place. Everything seemed alright but once you've met a monster you know better than to ever feel truly safe. She double checked to make sure her doors were locked tight, her windows rolled up as far as they would go, she took the knife from the console and placed it in her lap, under the blanket she had pulled from the back seat. She would feel safer if it were a gun but you can not buy a gun when you are nameless. Well, she was sure you could but she didn't know how to go about it but she would learn she promised herself, oh she would definitely learn. She took a long drink of water and closed her eyes and tried to grab a few minutes of restless sleep.
So you know how I say I never know what I am going to write....well once again this proves true. I have had this story in the back of my head for several years, I even started to write it once but it never quite gelled. Tonight it would not be denied any longer. Over the next several months I will write more of it as it comes. Hope you enjoy a glimpse into my somewhat twisted imagination (I think I read too many Nancy Drew's as a girl;) As always lots of love-Kristine
Her eyes were growing heavy from lack of sleep. She had not slept the past 48 hours, determined to put as much distance as possible between herself and the monster of her nightmares. She had driven across much of the country. It was funny, here she was checking off one of her bucket list items and she could not even appreciate it. Actually could a nameless woman even have a bucket list or dreams or were all her hopes, dreams and ambitions gone along with her name. Another irony of life. She who had once been so proud of her name, her lineage and now it was gone, forever gone.
Elizabeth, Lisa, Sue, Anne, Catherine, Becky, Marianne, Emily, Hannah....she said each name aloud, trying to settle on one that felt right. It had to be simple, something that she would remember to respond to if it were called out. Erin, Melissa, Rachel, Kate.....Kate.....Kate. Yes Kate was simple and easy. Something she could remember. She cleaned her rear view mirror with her sleeve and tried to glimpse herself in the smeared darkness. Could she pass for a Kate? Nope she couldn't tell right now. She would have to wait until morning to decide.
Finally, she caught sight of the rest stop ahead. Bone weary she pulled into a brightly lit spot. She shoved her drenched hair into a ball cap, she would have to cut it soon. The one vanity of her former life she had yet to give up. She put the sun reflector in the windshield and hung towels on her side windows to shield herself from the view of curious onlookers. She dared not change out of her sodden clothes completely but she had to put on a dry sweatshirt at least. She was suddenly very glad she had worn a button down blouse. She could put on the sweatshirt and take off the blouse without being disrobed. Somewhat dry she reached into the back seat for a blanket and a granola bar. She hadn't eaten anything since lunch and she was suddenly famished and very thirsty. She grabbed a bottle of water while she rummaged around. Suddenly she began to hyperventilate, she felt trapped and claustrophobic. She tore down the towels and the sun reflector frantically and took a long look around, looking hard into the darkness to see if any shadow was out of place. Everything seemed alright but once you've met a monster you know better than to ever feel truly safe. She double checked to make sure her doors were locked tight, her windows rolled up as far as they would go, she took the knife from the console and placed it in her lap, under the blanket she had pulled from the back seat. She would feel safer if it were a gun but you can not buy a gun when you are nameless. Well, she was sure you could but she didn't know how to go about it but she would learn she promised herself, oh she would definitely learn. She took a long drink of water and closed her eyes and tried to grab a few minutes of restless sleep.
So you know how I say I never know what I am going to write....well once again this proves true. I have had this story in the back of my head for several years, I even started to write it once but it never quite gelled. Tonight it would not be denied any longer. Over the next several months I will write more of it as it comes. Hope you enjoy a glimpse into my somewhat twisted imagination (I think I read too many Nancy Drew's as a girl;) As always lots of love-Kristine
2 comments:
This is sooo good. I am sitting on theedge of my seat wondering what wil happen next. I am so happy to see you going after your dreams and you're such an inspiration cuz you never give up on yourself. I admire the way you pick yourself up. You inspire me to want to do better.
Remember you is smart, you is kind, you is important. Love ya girl.
Right Back at you lady:) Love you lots-Kristine
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