Wednesday, October 5, 2011

10 Promises to Other Mothers

I awoke bright and early this morning, rushed two of my beautiful boys through their morning routine and onto the bus and then sat down at the computer for a few quiet moments of Facebook before my other three boys woke up.  Facebook is my vice, I admit it freely.  I love staying in contact, daily in some cases, with friends and family I would never speak with otherwise.  Facebook does have its drawbacks though.  One of them is that people, including me at times, are often too free with their opinions on how others should live their lives.  After reading one such post I have decided to compile my list of 10 things that I promise to every other mom out there.

1.      I will never tell my horrific labor and delivery stories to a new, expecting mom.  I will wait until after she has delivered and wants to share her own.  Then it’s no holds barred if she asks ;)

2.      I will NEVER lay a guilt trip on any mother about breastfeeding, cloth diapering, natural child birth, making her own organic baby food, or when her child sleeps through the night.  There are plenty of ways a mother will pile guilt on herself throughout the next 21 years.  She really does not need me to add to her pile of guilt.

3.      I will never just pop in unannounced on a new mother or a mother of small children.  This is cruel and unusual.  I will also respect that if a mom only opens her door 2 inches and speaks through the crack that there is probably a very good reason.  I will not try to glimpse her house, her hair or her attire.  We all have those days.

4.      I will not judge the mom at Wal-Mart or the mall whose child is screaming bloody murder.  I understand that I am not in possession of all the facts and that this one moment in time is not a reflection on her parenting abilities.  Again we all have those days.

5.      I will not judge a mother on working outside the home or putting her child in day care.  This is one of those family decisions that I have no right to an opinion on.  Having been both a working mom and a stay at home mom I know each has its own challenges.

6.      I will not judge a mother on her choice of schooling for her children.  I will not push any particular schooling method on her.  I have done both public school and homeschooling (I would love to do private school but it has not been an option) again each has its advantages and disadvantages.  This is another family decision that is not my business unless asked to share my experiences.

7.      I will not judge a mother on her choice of whether to medicate or not medicate her child.  God has given her the wisdom for her child, not me.  My opinions are only opinions and will only be shared if I am asked for them.

8.      I will not judge a mother if her child gets dirty while playing.  Seriously people the cool thing about kids is that God made them washable.

9.      I will not judge another based upon her size. Some moms have 15 children still wear the same size jeans that they did in high school.  While I find this very unfair and annoying I know that God loves them just as much as he loves those of us who have increased the size of our laps;)  I will not tell anyone woman what they should or should not weigh. 

10.  I will never, ever tell another mom that she is not good enough and I will always endeavor to view my fellow moms through the lens of grace that I so need to be viewed through.
There it is ladies; my pledges to you.  Lots of love-Kristine


Joanie said...

oh man this inspires me to write my 10 promises to others!

first I must drink my decaf instant coffee though!

Krysta said...

Good stuff, girl. I strive to live the same way. Offer advice if it is wanted, and offer support at ALL times.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Being a step-mom makes 10 really hard for me. However, I really should watch it. Love it, Kristine, you're an amazing mom....even when you come to the door with a spaghetti noodle on your shirt and sauce in your hair! I love you and your family!!!!!!
Love, Liz Crook

usarian said...

Thanks ladies. I definitely think it is time as women we are encouraging to one another instead of tearing eachother down:) I love that so many people agree.
And Liz I love you and your family too, even if you give away my secrets to great spaghetti.....(didn't you know sauce in the hair and noodles on the shirt are an intricate part of the process;)-Kristine

Marie said...

great promises.

as always, you make my heart think:)

love you.

Kristine Meier-Skiff said...

Love you too Marie:)

M J said...

Love this!!! Moms have enough rubbish to deal with already. There's no need to be all judgy-judgy! :)

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