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I am the crazy mom of five boys.  Four of my five boys are on the autism spectrum. Neuro-Diversity rocks!!!  I cook, I clean, I blog, I breathe.  Yup that is about it.  If you want to catch a glimpse of our crazy world you are more than welcome but don't say I didn't warn you.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Decorate the Butterfly


I am itchy, restless.  The winds of change have blown and permanently changed me.  I am no longer the woman I was 5 years ago or even 12 months ago.
My passions have changed, my heart beats with new purpose.  
My soul has been set free, no longer bound by the ropes of legalism and religiosity.  
I am ready to soar, to shout my transformation from the rooftops.
I am the butterfly fully formed, struggling to break free of it's chrysalis.
I am changed yet I look the same.    I need to be free of the woman I have always been.  I want others to see me as I am now, not as who I used to be. 
Do I radically change my hair, an extreme hair style and/or color? 
Do I get that tattoo I've designed on my arm with a sharpie a thousand times?
A new piercing?  
I don't know.  But I do know that I am no longer comfortable in my own skin.  I've never felt this way before.  Even when I hated my body it was my weight that I hated.   This isn't like that at all.  I actually love my body now.  I love my face, my legs, my hips, my breasts; whatever their current size.  No, this is something different.  I don't hate the way I look, I just feel like I've outgrown my current skin.  I am new wine in an old, dried out wineskin.  I am me but I am not.  This is a very strange feeling.  
So here is the fun part, I am coming to you, my readers and friends for ideas on what I should do to make this outside look like the new inside.  Help me decorate my new butterfly wings.  Leave a comment with your suggestions.  
This is me, as I am now.  Now give me all your ideas for a new me make-over friends.  Once I take the plunge, I will post an updated photo.  The only request that I have is that the suggestions be appropriate for this public forum. And go!
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